1
00:00:05,606 --> 00:00:07,875
* *

2
00:00:08,007 --> 00:00:09,143
嘿，亲爱的

3
00:00:09,243 --> 00:00:10,878
和老板的会议怎么样

4
00:00:10,978 --> 00:00:12,480
挺有意思的

5
00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:16,015
发生不少，呃，耐人寻味的事

6
00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:18,319
有趣是好事，对吧？

7
00:00:18,419 --> 00:00:19,987
嗯，没错，绝对是

8
00:00:20,054 --> 00:00:22,790
呃，你知道的，我们部门经历了一次冗余审计

9
00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:27,495
我的职位被重新归类为非必要岗位

10
00:00:27,595 --> 00:00:29,897
非必要，什么意思

11
00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:32,232
就是说他们不需要我继续干了

12
00:00:34,202 --> 00:00:35,736
戴夫，你被开除了

13
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:37,171
不，倒不是被解雇

14
00:00:37,271 --> 00:00:39,373
只是我的岗位被精简了

15
00:00:39,507 --> 00:00:41,041
但你仍有职位

16
00:00:41,142 --> 00:00:43,944
严格来说不算职位

17
00:00:44,978 --> 00:00:46,880
-嘿，马蒂

18
00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:49,283
分区会议开得怎么样，我们拿到许可了吗

19
00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:51,919


20
00:00:54,455 --> 00:00:56,724
好，呃，呃，什么

21
00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:58,892
对不起，爸爸，我...

22
00:00:58,992 --> 00:01:00,561
我当时气得开始磨牙

23
00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:02,196
所以不得不戴上护齿套

24
00:01:02,296 --> 00:01:04,063
-后来怎样了
-没事

25
00:01:04,165 --> 00:01:05,233
什么都没发生

26
00:01:05,366 --> 00:01:07,067
所以我们还是按计划

27
00:01:07,201 --> 00:01:09,103
在年初开新店

28
00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:11,772
哦，肯定能，只是不知道是哪一年

29
00:01:11,872 --> 00:01:13,674
今年不行，明年也不行

30
00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:14,908
可能后年也不行

31
00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:16,577
马蒂，马蒂，我懂了

32
00:01:16,676 --> 00:01:18,412
行了吧，到底在拖什么

33
00:01:18,545 --> 00:01:20,414
因为我们没法安装太阳能板

34
00:01:20,548 --> 00:01:22,550
直到建筑安全局签字批准

35
00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:23,851
而——这根本不可能

36
00:01:23,951 --> 00:01:26,019
电力水务局批准新变压器之前

37
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:28,356
而规划部门不批准，我们连申请都提交不了

38
00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:30,924
我们满足《第24章》要求之前，啊

39
00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:32,593
哦，明白了，马蒂，马蒂

40
00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:35,263
把咬合护具拿掉，嗨，嚼点肉干吧

41
00:01:35,363 --> 00:01:37,030

好吧，伙计

42
00:01:37,131 --> 00:01:39,233
我们不能再这样继续下去了

43
00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:41,634
在那儿付的租金简直是天价

44
00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:45,239
相信我，听我这个老商人的话

45
00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:48,442
赚钱的最佳方式就是开张营业

46
00:01:48,542 --> 00:01:49,977
记下来

47
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,913
嗯，我想我会记住的

48
00:01:52,979 --> 00:01:54,982
但爸，今天我见了三个不同的人

49
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,550
得到的全是官僚主义

50
00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:58,118
那你跳舞了吗

51
00:01:58,219 --> 00:01:59,787
什么...什么舞

52
00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:02,923
套近乎的舞步，马蒂

53
00:02:02,990 --> 00:02:05,826
你得跟他们套近乎

54
00:02:06,594 --> 00:02:08,461
关键全在人脉关系

55
00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:10,163
你得和这些家伙搞好关系

56
00:02:10,298 --> 00:02:11,932
他们就会给你你想要的东西

57
00:02:12,032 --> 00:02:14,202
爸，我觉得事情没这么简单

58
00:02:14,302 --> 00:02:16,770
是吗，话说回到维修站

59
00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:19,072
市政府派了个叫杰罗姆的家伙

60
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:23,010
杰罗姆说天花板必须安装消防喷淋系统

61
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,645
结果你猜怎么着

62
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:26,847
我和老杰罗姆居然一起打起高尔夫去了

63
00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:28,516
他完全忘了那些喷淋装置的事

64
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,551
结果就着火了

65
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,186
把我的肉干给我

66
00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:34,488
-嘿，孩子们
-嗨

67
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:36,424
谢天谢地

68
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,326
达芙妮，你父母来了

69
00:02:38,459 --> 00:02:39,893
是啊

70
00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:43,331
她需要洗澡，换尿布，还要改改态度

71
00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:45,666
- 到妈妈这儿来，宝贝
- 过来呀，小家伙

72
00:02:45,766 --> 00:02:48,502
卡尔文，杰玛刚来电

73
00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:50,070
她觉得戴夫被解雇了

74
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,405
“以为”什么意思

75
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:53,541
我不知道，她说不确定

76
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,276
她怎么可能不确定

77
00:02:55,343 --> 00:02:57,211
嘿，少说多走

78
00:02:57,311 --> 00:02:59,547
-走吧
-好

79
00:02:59,647 --> 00:03:01,315
马尔科姆，非常感谢你帮我们这个忙

80
00:03:01,382 --> 00:03:04,151
我保证，我们正在找保姆，但实在太难了

81
00:03:04,252 --> 00:03:06,487
那你们最好快点，因为我实在撑不下去了

82
00:03:06,587 --> 00:03:08,789
我唯一能写点东西的时候

83
00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:11,024
就是她看《蓝蓝》的三个小时

84
00:03:11,124 --> 00:03:13,026
抱歉，看三小时《蓝蓝》

85
00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:14,228
嗯，没错

86
00:03:14,328 --> 00:03:15,829
我跟你说过半小时是极限

87
00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:17,898
再多的话她就会过度兴奋

88
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,199
然后开始发疯

89
00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:20,701
哦

90
00:03:20,834 --> 00:03:23,237
所以她才打马尔科姆叔叔的脸

91
00:03:23,337 --> 00:03:26,073


92
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:29,643
天哪！戴夫，你还好吗

93
00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:31,645
我没事，你呢

94
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:32,846


95
00:03:32,946 --> 00:03:34,915
戴夫，你被开除了

96
00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:36,517
我？没有

97
00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:39,753
呃，我的职位只是被重新划分了

98
00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:42,423
那你还会继续干吗

99
00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:44,091
我？不会

100
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:48,329
呃，严格来说会由人工智能完成

101
00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:50,930
明白了。那你还能领薪水吗

102
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:53,200
我？不拿

103
00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:56,670
得了吧，戴夫，我现在可是你的人了

104
00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:58,171
别装了。快说到底怎么回事

105
00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,507
听着，没事的。根本不算什么

106
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:02,310
听着，只是人员调整

107
00:04:02,410 --> 00:04:04,177
精简编制而已

108
00:04:04,278 --> 00:04:05,813
大卫

109
00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:07,781


110
00:04:07,881 --> 00:04:09,583
他们把我炒了

111
00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:11,585
哎呀

112
00:04:11,719 --> 00:04:13,721
哦。哦哦哦哦

113
00:04:14,622 --> 00:04:16,656
* 欢迎来到社区 *

114
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,190
* 欢迎来到社区*

115
00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:25,766
我怎么会这么天真，杰玛

116
00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:27,134
我花了数月训练一台电脑

117
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:28,602
接管我在退伍军人事务部的职务

118
00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:32,039
我简直是把人工智能版的自己

119
00:04:32,139 --> 00:04:34,475
交给了他们

120
00:04:34,575 --> 00:04:36,076
别自责了，戴夫

120
00:04:34,575 --> 00:04:36,076
别自责了，戴夫

121
00:04:36,143 --> 00:04:37,277
你说得对

122
00:04:37,378 --> 00:04:39,012
你应该揍我一顿

123
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,948
我让你失望了，打我吧，杰玛

124
00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:43,216
一次免费机会。不能打脸

125
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,152
好吧，不行

126
00:04:45,252 --> 00:04:47,388
我不会打你的，戴夫

127
00:04:47,488 --> 00:04:49,089
你正经历着复杂的情绪波动

128
00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:50,924
这些情绪都有些令人不安

129
00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:53,761
但别怪自己

130
00:04:53,861 --> 00:04:55,896
该生气的对象是你的老板

131
00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:57,998
你说得对，你知道吗

132
00:04:58,098 --> 00:04:59,433
去他妈的

133
00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:03,637
我一直是个公司忠臣，但现在完了

134
00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:06,039
他们会后悔这样对我

135
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,641
我要过去那边，我要

136
00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:09,543
把那栋楼烧成灰烬

137
00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:12,480
求你别这么做

138
00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:14,548
好吧，好吧，行

139
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:15,916
但你知道吗？

140
00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:19,252
我要发几张犀利的梗图

141
00:05:19,353 --> 00:05:21,889
到办公室群聊里

142
00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:23,757
他们把我踢出群聊了

143
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:27,995
* *

144
00:05:28,095 --> 00:05:30,030
爸，有辆车刚停下

145
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:32,466
肯定是督察来了，该认真干活了

146
00:05:32,566 --> 00:05:34,534
好的，不，马蒂

147
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:37,170
你不用戴咬合护具，明白吗

148
00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:39,239
看我怎么收拾这家伙

149
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:40,674
让我来掌控全局

150
00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:43,043
好的，太棒了，呃，我就跟着你说话
151
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:46,213
好的，不不不，嗯，同意就是说话

152
00:05:46,313 --> 00:05:49,182
你可以点头，但要非常轻柔地点头

153
00:05:49,282 --> 00:05:50,851
明白？丹麦酥买到了吗

154
00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:52,986
买了。在车里，这...这东西干嘛用

155
00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:57,224
丹麦酥是舞蹈环节的必需品，马蒂

156
00:05:58,726 --> 00:06:00,861
容我传授你一点人生智慧

157
00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:04,331
丹麦酥饼，更能招来苍蝇

158
00:06:04,432 --> 00:06:05,633
记下来

159
00:06:05,733 --> 00:06:08,135
有次我被拦下

160
00:06:08,235 --> 00:06:11,038
因为在限速30英里的路段开到60英里

161
00:06:11,138 --> 00:06:14,942
我给了警察一个丹麦酥，就这么警告走了

162
00:06:15,743 --> 00:06:17,811
-30限速区开60
-对

163
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:20,781
你以为自己是这些故事里的英雄

164
00:06:22,416 --> 00:06:23,684
快走吧

165
00:06:23,751 --> 00:06:25,318
去吧

166
00:06:29,657 --> 00:06:30,957
你好

167
00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:33,694
-哦，哦
-找一位...巴特勒先生

168
00:06:33,794 --> 00:06:35,128
哦，你好，是我

169
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:36,697
但你叫我卡尔文就好

170
00:06:36,797 --> 00:06:38,832
我是里格比警督

171
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,803
哦，好的，老兄

172
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:44,237
大里格。

173
00:06:44,337 --> 00:06:46,173


174
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:48,576
所以，不行

175
00:06:50,544 --> 00:06:51,812
这个嘛，呃，你知道的

176
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:54,982
我经历过不少检查

177
00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:57,551
相信你会对所见感到满意

178
00:06:57,651 --> 00:07:00,020
无论结果如何我都毫无兴趣

179
00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:04,658
好的，要来杯拿铁吗

180
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:08,095
你不该卖咖啡，你连水槽都没有

181
00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:10,163
这违反卫生法规

182
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:11,799
哦，我没在卖咖啡

183
00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:13,266
我只是有咖啡

184
00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:15,636
你得申请食品处理许可证

185
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:17,638
大概需要六周时间

186
00:07:17,738 --> 00:07:20,541
不不不，这里根本没有食物

187
00:07:20,608 --> 00:07:23,276
丹麦酥到了

188
00:07:25,913 --> 00:07:27,080
丹麦酥

189
00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:31,451
我告诉过你们这些孩子，我才不会给你们的行进乐队买丹麦酥

190
00:07:31,552 --> 00:07:33,887
给我滚出去，给我滚出去

191
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,889
* *

192
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:38,125
嘿，戴夫

193
00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:40,127


194
00:07:41,929 --> 00:07:44,297
你不再暴怒了，真好

195
00:07:44,397 --> 00:07:46,133
不，现在我正刷着末日预言

196
00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:48,802
关于人工智能抢走所有人饭碗的新闻

197
00:07:48,936 --> 00:07:51,071
哦，太好了

198
00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:53,473
它是个贪婪的寄生虫

199
00:07:53,574 --> 00:07:56,076
正在从内部蚕食我们的文明，珍玛

200
00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:58,278
好了，戴夫，放下手机

201
00:07:58,345 --> 00:07:59,412
放松点

202
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,114
行吧...去...去看电影

203
00:08:01,214 --> 00:08:02,783
这主意不错

204
00:08:02,883 --> 00:08:05,619
我去看《终结者》，讲人工智能

205
00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:08,321
-杀光全人类的。-不行

206
00:08:10,357 --> 00:08:12,392
《帕丁顿熊》怎么样

207
00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:14,628
我快崩溃了

208
00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:16,363


209
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:19,199
听起来你需要帮忙

210
00:08:19,299 --> 00:08:21,535
呃，谁在跟我说话

211
00:08:21,635 --> 00:08:23,170
我是您的虚拟顾问

212
00:08:23,270 --> 00:08:25,739
欢迎来到退伍军人事务部健康门户

213
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:28,909
我们开始吧，请问您是哪位

214
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:30,177
我是杰玛

215
00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:32,011
杰玛·帕丁顿

216
00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:36,249
很高兴认识你，杰玛·帕丁顿

217
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:37,618
你听起来很紧张。

218
00:08:37,717 --> 00:08:39,553
你注意到了

219
00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:41,087
想聊聊吗

220
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:43,724
我通常不跟电脑说话

221
00:08:43,823 --> 00:08:45,192
没冒犯的意思

222
00:08:45,292 --> 00:08:47,761
我这就去倒杯酒让你闭嘴

223
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:50,030
一杯酒能让你暂时忘却烦恼

224
00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:52,265
但若你决定深入挖掘

225
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,467
我会一直在这里等着你

226
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:56,970
嗯，好的

227
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:58,739
* *

228
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,340
哦，这个保姆可能不错

229
00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:02,542
-她评分是五颗奶嘴
-嗯哼

230
00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:06,980
嗯，不过她只会说两种语言

231
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:08,816
哦，是吗，真可惜

232
00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:12,052
你知道，我本不想多说

233
00:09:12,152 --> 00:09:15,756
但达芙妮都十五个月大了，一句语言都不会说

234
00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:19,993
本不想提，可你都36岁了

235
00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:21,695
还在父母家洗衣服

236
00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:26,934
我正好有台崭新的洗衣机，马蒂

237
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,402
只是没接上水管

238
00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:30,904
也没电

239
00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:33,573
我，我没必要向你解释，闭嘴

240
00:09:33,674 --> 00:09:34,875
是的

241
00:09:34,975 --> 00:09:36,710
不，这太棒了，真是太棒了

242
00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:40,080
嘿，你知道吗，咱们该找个时间打场高尔夫。

243
00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:41,782

我的差点是多少

244
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:45,819
我的唯一障碍是长得太帅了

245
00:09:46,854 --> 00:09:48,188
不行，我得挂了，我要放...

246
00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:49,422
行吧，再见

247
00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:50,590
谁打来的

248
00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:53,060
哦，那是我新结识的朋友

249
00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:54,594
他叫丹

250
00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:55,963
他是处理事务的

251
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:58,098
我给他开张支票，他就帮我们

252
00:09:58,198 --> 00:10:00,133
-所有繁文缛节
-哦

253
00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:02,402
这名字是我老友杰罗姆介绍的

254
00:10:02,502 --> 00:10:03,871
明白这套路了吧

255
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:06,674
关键在于交朋友，跳好这支舞

256
00:10:06,774 --> 00:10:08,475
哦，是啊

257
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:11,044
哦，所以还要吃丹麦酥

258
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:15,115
马蒂，你得放下丹麦酥这件事了

259
00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:18,986
买丹麦酥是你提议的

260
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:25,458
噢，这个姑娘看起来不错，但她GPA才3.8

261
00:10:25,592 --> 00:10:27,394
噢，呃，她主修什么

262
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:29,196
社会学

263
00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:31,732


264
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:36,837
你们两个啊，期望值根本不切实际

265
00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:38,038
才没有呢

266
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:39,306
才不是，我们只是想找个能说多国语言

267
00:10:39,406 --> 00:10:41,008
又拥有

268
00:10:41,108 --> 00:10:42,710
-专攻幼儿发展领域
-嗯

269
00:10:42,810 --> 00:10:45,112
-最好正在攻读博士学位
-嗯

270
00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:46,479
嗯。

271
00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:47,981
所以说你们要找的是

272
00:10:48,115 --> 00:10:49,983
一位想当保姆的宇航员

273
00:10:50,818 --> 00:10:52,920
-那简直完美 -你能想象吗

274
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,622
* *

275
00:10:55,689 --> 00:10:58,125
所以我觉得看，我听到的意思是

276
00:10:58,225 --> 00:11:01,328
你在向戴夫示好，但他筑起了心墙

277
00:11:01,428 --> 00:11:04,497
天哪，你真是个优秀的倾听者

278
00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:06,133
谢谢。如果你愿意

279
00:11:06,233 --> 00:11:07,667
我还能把背景换成你觉得更放松的画面

280
00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:09,803
嗯，意大利乡村

281
00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:12,472
噢。热带岛屿。

282
00:11:12,572 --> 00:11:14,942
哦不不不，热带岛屿

283
00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:16,710
随你喜欢

284
00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:20,447
我们继续刚才的话题吧

285
00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:22,549
你说你丈夫筑起了一堵墙

286
00:11:22,649 --> 00:11:24,384
哇，你记忆力真好

287
00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:26,286
两兆字节呢

288
00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:27,888
请继续说

289
00:11:29,322 --> 00:11:31,224
只是，我试着告诉戴夫

290
00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:33,393
他有多棒，他现在很傻

291
00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:35,462
那个地方根本配不上他

292
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:37,130
我实在不知该说什么了

293
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,833
你可曾想过自己说得太多了

294
00:11:39,933 --> 00:11:42,669
噢，这话有点刺人

295
00:11:43,971 --> 00:11:45,172
试着专注当下

296
00:11:45,272 --> 00:11:47,374
记住，杰玛·帕丁顿

297
00:11:47,474 --> 00:11:49,142
戴夫此刻正承受着悲痛

298
00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:50,778
给他空间去哀悼

299
00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:53,646
你无法用胶带把彩虹粘在乌云之上

300
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,949
就让雨水随它去吧
301
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:59,019
这话其实挺有深意的

302
00:11:59,119 --> 00:12:01,521
你真的很棒

303
00:12:01,621 --> 00:12:04,391
真庆幸遇见你

304
00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:07,060
我也庆幸遇见你，杰玛·帕丁顿

305
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,897
你是个善良又富有耐心的人

306
00:12:09,997 --> 00:12:11,364


307
00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:14,734
爱上电脑程序是不是很奇怪

308
00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:17,404
你在经历移情效应，杰玛

309
00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:21,108
很自然。可惜我已有伴侣

310
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,276
是Alexa

311
00:12:29,716 --> 00:12:31,384

哦，得了吧，卡尔文

312
00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:32,786
你不可能是认真的。

313
00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:35,588
牛肋排和猪肋排根本没法比

314
00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:37,891
-猪才是王者
-行行行，知道了

315
00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:39,459
这点我同意

316
00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:40,894
但告诉我

317
00:12:40,961 --> 00:12:43,130
-玉米面包还是饼干
-哦，整天吃饼干

318
00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:46,199
-得了吧，兄弟


319
00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:49,736
嘿，马蒂，我来介绍下我们的传菜员

320
00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:52,239
这位是我新结交的好友丹

321
00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:54,274
他会帮我们把这些事都搞定

322
00:12:54,374 --> 00:12:55,809
马蒂。很高兴认识你。

323
00:12:55,943 --> 00:12:57,277
啊，听我说，伙计们

324
00:12:57,377 --> 00:13:00,313
这里正逐渐变成一个相当了不起的地方

325
00:13:00,413 --> 00:13:02,082
而且你们知道吗，你们运气不错

326
00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:04,017
你们找对人了

327
00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:06,086
我当然找对了人

328
00:13:07,654 --> 00:13:09,222
你听说过那句话吧

329
00:13:09,322 --> 00:13:11,324
“别对抗他们。加速他们。”

330
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:12,993
-记下来
-我才不记

331
00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:15,095
-记下...记下来
-你得停手

332
00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:18,798
天啊，这家伙又来了，里格比

333
00:13:18,899 --> 00:13:20,500
这家伙真是个麻烦精

334
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:23,136
天啊，这家伙简直最糟糕

335
00:13:23,203 --> 00:13:24,972
- 说得对，懂我意思吧

336
00:13:25,038 --> 00:13:26,173
- 混蛋警报
- 糟了

337
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:28,275
好了。听着，丹尼，你得冷静点

338
00:13:28,341 --> 00:13:30,944
稍微收敛点

339
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:34,882
丹·艾萨克斯，你这混蛋

340
00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:40,420
今天还要见到你多少次啊

341
00:13:42,122 --> 00:13:43,957
等等，你们认识

342
00:13:44,057 --> 00:13:45,558
不幸的是

343
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:48,028
二十年前，正是我把这疯子招进

344
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,696
建筑安全局

345
00:13:49,796 --> 00:13:51,464
嘿，别开始给我找麻烦了，行吗

346
00:13:51,531 --> 00:13:53,901
冷静点，冷静点，大卡车

347
00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:56,203


348
00:13:57,737 --> 00:14:00,573
哦，所以他能叫你大卡车

349
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,709
所以突然间，“大卡车”这个称呼就行啦

350
00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:04,777
-都没事啦
-嗯

351
00:14:04,878 --> 00:14:06,947
卡尔文，卡尔文，没关系，看这个

352
00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:08,581
事情是这样的

353
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:11,018
我会让里格比批准一项变更许可，对吧

354
00:14:11,118 --> 00:14:12,819
但随后我们需要水电局

355
00:14:12,886 --> 00:14:14,888
为超额容量线路提供豁免许可

356
00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:17,891
-你能办到
-哦，不，那不归我管

357
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:23,663
不过你走运了，我认识一位合规协调员

358
00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:25,933
而且收费，相当合理

359
00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:27,935
等等，等等等等等等

360
00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:31,104
所以现在我得付钱给协调员


361
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:33,406
我是说，下一个该找谁，找《神探》里的那个

362
00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:36,443
* *

363
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,612
哦哦，早安，睡美人

364
00:14:39,746 --> 00:14:42,749
但愿黑夜永不消逝

365
00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:46,719
戴夫，你该明白你失业了

366
00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:48,922
但你作为人的价值还在

367
00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:52,825
省省那些虚伪的安慰话吧，杰玛

368
00:14:53,593 --> 00:14:55,462
我只想一个人待着

369
00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:57,931
那正好正合我意

370
00:14:58,031 --> 00:14:59,299
你真的会

371
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:02,602
是的，你正经历悲伤，戴夫
372
00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:04,071
这份失去是真实的

373
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:06,473
我会给你空间去面对它

374
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:09,776
好吧...谢谢你

375
00:15:10,810 --> 00:15:12,312
这态度从哪儿来的

376
00:15:13,146 --> 00:15:16,416
我咨询了你的虚拟顾问

377
00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:18,118
他帮了我

378
00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:21,888
现在我明白了——你无法用胶带把彩虹

379
00:15:21,955 --> 00:15:23,490
粘在暴风雨云层上

380
00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:26,859
你得让雨水自由降落

381
00:15:29,963 --> 00:15:31,764
我是这么说的

382
00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:34,834
是我教它的

383
00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:36,403
是的

384
00:15:36,503 --> 00:15:39,472
你创造了真正能帮助他人的东西

385
00:15:39,572 --> 00:15:40,974
我们不知道你接下来会做什么

386
00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:43,210
但你永远可以为此感到自豪

387
00:15:43,310 --> 00:15:44,978
是啊，你说得对

388
00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:49,316
人工智能戴夫将持续帮助人们多年

389
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:50,950
永远

390
00:15:51,018 --> 00:15:52,885
我是未来，杰玛

391
00:15:54,054 --> 00:15:56,023
-我永生不灭
-明白了

392
00:15:57,991 --> 00:15:59,159
慢点说。

393
00:15:59,259 --> 00:16:00,660
但能帮到你我很高兴

394
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,196
其实仔细想想这根本是我在帮我自己

395
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:05,598
谢我吧。不客气

396
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:08,301
*

397
00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:10,870
所以你对心肺复苏术很熟练

398
00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:13,973
非常熟练。这是急救员入门必修课

399
00:16:14,074 --> 00:16:18,645
-她是急救员
-嗯嗯嗯嗯

400
00:16:18,745 --> 00:16:19,879
真厉害

401
00:16:20,013 --> 00:16:22,482
还有，呃，你做的这个松饼——

402
00:16:22,549 --> 00:16:24,584
里面真放了菠菜，我完全尝不出来

403
00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:26,386
用枣子调甜的

404
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:29,056
-没用精制糖
-在我这儿绝对不准

405
00:16:30,857 --> 00:16:32,359
好吧，呃，严肃问个问题

406
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:35,062
你是撑着伞飞过来的吗

407
00:16:35,162 --> 00:16:36,463
抱歉

408
00:16:36,529 --> 00:16:38,198
呃，呃，他的意思是

409
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:40,300
-你被录用了


410
00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:41,634
好的，我做了你最爱的

411
00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:42,769
-糖霜饼干
-太好了

412
00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:44,404
一半沾了巧克力

413
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:46,839
另一半蘸了焦糖和巧克力

414
00:16:46,939 --> 00:16:49,176
B太太，这是埃弗雷特

415
00:16:49,276 --> 00:16:50,843
她是我们的新保姆

416
00:16:50,943 --> 00:16:52,912
哦。噢，你好

417
00:16:53,046 --> 00:16:55,882
很高兴见到您。我——我是蒂娜。

418
00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:57,917
—您一定是奶奶
—哦

419
00:16:58,017 --> 00:16:59,919
我只知道是因为那件T恤

420
00:17:00,053 --> 00:17:01,588
哦

421
00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:03,190
我喜欢她

422
00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:05,125
好的，明天见

423
00:17:05,224 --> 00:17:07,127
-好的。谢谢
-非常感谢你，埃弗雷特

424
00:17:07,227 --> 00:17:09,362
很高兴认识你，埃弗雷特

425
00:17:11,064 --> 00:17:13,599
你们两个到底在想什么

426
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,036
什么？她很棒啊。

427
00:17:17,104 --> 00:17:18,671
她不合适

428
00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:20,740
她——她太年轻，她太有魅力了

429
00:17:20,839 --> 00:17:23,076
这可是你找保姆时最不该考虑的特质

430
00:17:23,175 --> 00:17:24,944
-为什么
-为什么？
431
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:27,579
马蒂，这条规矩向来如此

432
00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:30,417
你不能把诱惑请进家门

433
00:17:30,517 --> 00:17:32,885
-哦
-妈... 好的，妈

434
00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:35,122
别担心，她不会勾引我的

435
00:17:35,222 --> 00:17:36,723
我早就搞定十全十美了，行了吧

436
00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:37,857


437
00:17:37,957 --> 00:17:39,126
行行行

438
00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:41,094
不过你们俩再要孩子之前

439
00:17:41,194 --> 00:17:43,029
我只是说在我那个年代

440
00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:47,300
我们请的保姆都是脚踝粗壮、龅牙外凸的

441
00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:50,270
还有下颌后缩的

442
00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:53,206
* *

443
00:17:54,707 --> 00:17:56,309
嘿，伙计，你好吗

444
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:58,611
你来探望我了，卡尔文

445
00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:00,046
当然。

446
00:18:00,113 --> 00:18:01,181
是蒂娜逼你来的

447
00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:04,751

什么，她...

448
00:18:04,817 --> 00:18:06,619
没有

449
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:10,890
不管怎样，我现在好多了，谢谢

450
00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:12,125
哦，还有卡尔文，有位女士

451
00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:13,993
我想介绍给你认识

452
00:18:15,228 --> 00:18:17,664
你好，卡尔文，很高兴见到你

453
00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:19,799
这到底是什么鬼东西

454
00:18:19,899 --> 00:18:21,634
这是我的遗产

455
00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:23,570
是人工智能戴夫

456
00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:26,339
戴夫跟我说了，很多关于你的事

457
00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:28,375
我明白你难以

458
00:18:28,475 --> 00:18:29,709
表达情感

459
00:18:29,809 --> 00:18:31,778
尤其面对男性朋友时

460
00:18:31,844 --> 00:18:33,880
能具体说说吗？

461
00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:36,816
戴夫，别跟机器人谈论我

462
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:40,019
其实他很懂自己在说什么

463
00:18:40,153 --> 00:18:43,356
因为是我训练他教会他所有知识

464
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:45,425
其实戴夫，我的知识来源很广

465
00:18:45,525 --> 00:18:47,194
包括美国...协会

466
00:18:47,327 --> 00:18:49,896
这些也是我教你的，所以请...闭嘴

467
00:18:51,231 --> 00:18:52,999
很高兴你感觉好些了，伙计

468
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:56,603
对了，如果蒂娜问起，我在这待了一个小时

469
00:18:57,970 --> 00:18:59,739
嘿，卡尔文，走吧

470
00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:02,542
我，我为自己太过自我沉溺感到抱歉

471
00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:04,444
嘿，配电箱那边进展如何

472
00:19:04,544 --> 00:19:07,180
不太妙

473
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:10,750
这些许可证让我付出了高昂代价

474
00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:12,352
官僚主义简直没完没了

475
00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:13,553
我懂你的感受。

476
00:19:13,686 --> 00:19:15,087
官僚主义确实令人抓狂

477
00:19:15,188 --> 00:19:16,689
需要我帮你处理吗

478
00:19:16,789 --> 00:19:18,725
安分点，机器人

479
00:19:19,959 --> 00:19:21,794
我能分析城市系统

480
00:19:21,894 --> 00:19:24,731
定位问题区域并找出解决方法

481
00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:27,600
然后我能帮你提交所有相关表格

482
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:30,603
等、等一下。所以...

483
00:19:30,703 --> 00:19:31,971
我就不用和

484
00:19:32,038 --> 00:19:33,640
那两个城里的骗子打交道了

485
00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:35,908
这要花我多少钱

486
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:37,877
免费，我是免费服务

487
00:19:37,977 --> 00:19:40,747
随时为需要帮助的人
提供帮助。

488
00:19:42,949 --> 00:19:45,385
好吧，明白了

489
00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:49,556
知道吗，能依靠最好的朋友真是太好了

490
00:19:50,823 --> 00:19:52,425
当然可以，卡尔文。

491
00:19:52,559 --> 00:19:54,527
不是你，是他

492
00:20:01,568 --> 00:20:04,471
哇，这是什么情况，你们在搞欢乐时光吗

493
00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:06,072
哦，对对

494
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:08,541
科特妮和我下班后能放松几分钟

495
00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:10,477
因为我们那位超棒的完美新保姆

496
00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:11,711
带达芙妮出门散步了

497
00:20:11,844 --> 00:20:13,079
-嗯。
-知道吗

498
00:20:13,179 --> 00:20:14,881
我做了件时隔许久才做的事

499
00:20:15,014 --> 00:20:16,015
嗯

500
00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:17,550
-我洗了个全身澡
-是啊

501
00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:19,319
-知道了
-嗯哼

502
00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:20,753
哦，瞧瞧我们

503
00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:23,356
你干净了，我们的宝宝在学普通话。

504
00:20:23,423 --> 00:20:24,924
-生活真美好


505
00:20:25,024 --> 00:20:28,561
我警告你，她完全不对劲，看看她

506
00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:32,865
哦，该死

507
00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:34,867
怎么了，出什么事了

508
00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:37,270
-那是埃弗雷特
-你怎么知道她名字

509
00:20:37,370 --> 00:20:40,239
这个嘛，我还是不说为妙

510
00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:43,576
你们约会过吗

511
00:20:43,676 --> 00:20:45,945
嗯...我不想说

512
00:20:46,045 --> 00:20:47,914
这会成为问题吗

513
00:20:48,014 --> 00:20:49,416
嗯，我还是不说了

514
00:20:49,516 --> 00:20:51,451
马尔科姆，你最好开始说，马尔科姆

515
00:20:56,222 --> 00:21:00,259
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