1
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Previously on "Resident Alien"...

2
00:00:03,307 --> 00:00:05,092
How could I not remember?

3
00:00:05,135 --> 00:00:06,745
When people experience a loss of time,

4
00:00:06,789 --> 00:00:09,009
it's often because they've been abducted by aliens.

5
00:00:09,052 --> 00:00:10,401
I'm an alien.

6
00:00:10,445 --> 00:00:12,403
We are very good at changing people's memories.

7
00:00:12,447 --> 00:00:15,580
FBI. The murderer is not Harry Vanderspeigle.

8
00:00:15,624 --> 00:00:17,626
Guess what... you're not getting your ball back.

9
00:00:17,669 --> 00:00:19,976
I've hidden it where you'll never find it.

10
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,282
Abigail Hodges, you're under arrest

11
00:00:21,325 --> 00:00:22,848
for the murder of Sam Hodges.

12
00:00:22,892 --> 00:00:25,025
I have built a radio.

13
00:00:25,068 --> 00:00:26,504
The signal will tell my people

14
00:00:26,548 --> 00:00:29,899
not to come and kill everyone...

15
00:00:29,942 --> 00:00:31,161
for 50 years.

16
00:00:31,205 --> 00:00:34,817
- We need to stop it! - No!

17
00:00:34,860 --> 00:00:36,253
It's receiving a signal.

18
00:00:36,297 --> 00:00:39,778
It's a phone number from New York City.

19
00:00:39,822 --> 00:00:41,693
Sunny went into labor all of a sudden.

20
00:00:41,737 --> 00:00:45,567
- I can fix it. - Let the doctor do his job.

21
00:00:45,610 --> 00:00:47,743
I've held a lot of babies since Jay was born.

22
00:00:47,786 --> 00:00:52,139
I understand now why you feel guilty.

23
00:01:02,236 --> 00:01:05,413
Go after him.

24
00:01:05,456 --> 00:01:07,067
Flush him out. I'll meet you on the other side.

25
00:01:07,110 --> 00:01:08,242
I got it.

26
00:01:08,285 --> 00:01:11,114
Police, drop the weapon!

27
00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:12,724
Shit.

28
00:01:12,768 --> 00:01:15,075
Dispatch, this is unit 92. I got shots fired.

29
00:01:15,118 --> 00:01:16,685
Need backup at my location.

30
00:01:16,728 --> 00:01:19,166
Jesse! Jesse! - Copy that.

31
00:01:19,209 --> 00:01:20,645
Backup en route.

32
00:01:20,689 --> 00:01:24,997
Jesse?

33
00:01:30,438 --> 00:01:32,266
I got an officer down.

34
00:01:40,187 --> 00:01:43,059
Mike.

35
00:01:44,626 --> 00:01:46,671
Come on, man, I know you're in there.

36
00:01:51,633 --> 00:01:54,462
Bill, I can't do that, man. -

37
00:01:54,505 --> 00:01:58,074
Mike, you're the only one he would have trusted with him.

38
00:02:08,824 --> 00:02:10,434
You take care of yourself, okay?

39
00:02:10,478 --> 00:02:12,871
Thanks. Thanks, man.

40
00:02:17,485 --> 00:02:20,140
I miss him, too, Cletus.

41
00:02:22,054 --> 00:02:24,274
Welcome to your new home.

42
00:02:34,763 --> 00:02:37,635
1,900 miles...

43
00:02:37,679 --> 00:02:40,551
That's how close I am to New York City,

44
00:02:40,595 --> 00:02:42,640
to one of my people.

45
00:02:42,684 --> 00:02:45,948
1,900 miles from standing in front of a being

46
00:02:45,991 --> 00:02:47,471
who knows what I know...

47
00:02:47,515 --> 00:02:50,866
who has stood in the ice wind desert as a child.

48
00:02:50,909 --> 00:02:53,216
I am different now.

49
00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:54,957
Asta knows this version of me,

50
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:58,352
but I am I, 900 miles from being with someone

51
00:02:58,395 --> 00:03:00,789
who knows the alien part of me...

52
00:03:00,832 --> 00:03:02,965
The real me.

53
00:03:05,750 --> 00:03:08,405
So why can I not dial this number?

54
00:03:09,972 --> 00:03:13,410
Hoodoos

55
00:03:15,586 --> 00:03:19,721
Do not take their shape for you

56
00:03:19,764 --> 00:03:24,116
Trace your eye down their rocky spire

57
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:28,251
Laced with limestone and wind and fire

58
00:03:30,079 --> 00:03:32,037
- Hey. - Oh.

59
00:03:32,081 --> 00:03:33,256
Hey.

60
00:03:35,606 --> 00:03:37,782
It was nice to talk to you last night.

61
00:03:39,393 --> 00:03:41,482
Kind of felt like old times again.

62
00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:43,353
What? - Oh.

63
00:03:43,397 --> 00:03:45,094
W-What... what are you upset about?

64
00:03:45,137 --> 00:03:47,488
Nothing happened. All we did was talk about Jay.

65
00:03:47,531 --> 00:03:49,533
- Yeah, I know. - Asta.

66
00:03:49,577 --> 00:03:51,927
- I shouldn't have come here. - I did...

67
00:03:53,537 --> 00:03:56,758
Please, you don't have to go. - Yes, I do.

68
00:03:56,801 --> 00:04:00,109
It lives in a fistful of sky

69
00:04:00,152 --> 00:04:06,289
Just beyond your reach

70
00:04:08,639 --> 00:04:11,294
Nice seeing you at Laurant's last night.

71
00:04:11,338 --> 00:04:13,992
Mm, mm.

72
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,655
I saw you left pretty quickly.

73
00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:27,919
You know, if there's ever anything

74
00:04:27,963 --> 00:04:29,660
you want to talk about, like, no big deal,

75
00:04:29,704 --> 00:04:31,749
but you can talk to me.

76
00:04:33,795 --> 00:04:37,102
Thank you, Deputy.

77
00:04:37,146 --> 00:04:39,235
Now that you mention it,

78
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,368
I'd like to know what you've been scribbling down

79
00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:42,760
in your little notebook there.

80
00:04:42,804 --> 00:04:45,415
You doing another solo investigation?

81
00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:49,593
Do you remember my dress you picked up from the cleaners?

82
00:04:49,637 --> 00:04:52,161
The one I don't remember dropping off?

83
00:04:52,204 --> 00:04:53,336
And what dress you talking about?

84
00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:54,859
You talking about that green dress,

85
00:04:54,903 --> 00:04:56,470
or you talking about that dress you talk about every day

86
00:04:56,513 --> 00:04:57,993
like it's some kind of government conspiracy?

87
00:04:58,036 --> 00:05:00,865
You have to admit it's weird. -

88
00:05:00,909 --> 00:05:03,912
Basically the whole day is a blank.

89
00:05:03,955 --> 00:05:05,566
Do you remember it? - I mean, no.

90
00:05:05,609 --> 00:05:07,089
But I can't remember what I had for breakfast this morning.

91
00:05:07,132 --> 00:05:08,830
You know, ask me what color socks I'm wearing.

92
00:05:08,873 --> 00:05:11,789
What color socks are you wearing?

93
00:05:11,833 --> 00:05:13,400
Well, actually, I'm wearing black socks

94
00:05:13,443 --> 00:05:14,836
'cause that's all I own... is black socks.

95
00:05:14,879 --> 00:05:16,446
But if I did own socks that was a different color,

96
00:05:16,490 --> 00:05:18,143
I wouldn't remember what color I was wearing.

97
00:05:18,187 --> 00:05:19,319
You know why? It don't matter.

98
00:05:19,362 --> 00:05:22,060
Sir, you might want to look at this.

99
00:05:23,671 --> 00:05:26,500
What the hell she doing? That's Miss Taylor bike.

100
00:05:26,543 --> 00:05:30,112
Oh, shit. Hell, no. Hell, no!

101
00:05:30,155 --> 00:05:32,854
Hey, get off that bike! Get off that damn bike!

102
00:05:32,897 --> 00:05:34,464
That ain't your bike. - Come on, Sheriff!

103
00:05:34,508 --> 00:05:36,771
Hey, I can outrun that bike!

104
00:05:38,207 --> 00:05:40,383
Ellen?

105
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:44,822
Hey, Ellen, can you cover for me?

106
00:05:44,866 --> 00:05:46,433
I got to take care of something.

107
00:05:46,476 --> 00:05:47,999
- Sure. - Okay. Thanks.

108
00:05:48,043 --> 00:05:48,957
I won't be long.

109
00:05:56,138 --> 00:05:57,269
Close call.

110
00:05:57,313 --> 00:05:58,662
Almost as close as you were

111
00:05:58,706 --> 00:06:01,012
to getting your eye poked out by a tree.

112
00:06:01,056 --> 00:06:04,842
In my defense, I had just had dinner with my parents.

113
00:06:04,886 --> 00:06:07,454
Also, that tree was waving pretty wildly.

114
00:06:07,497 --> 00:06:10,370
Listen, as a medical professional,

115
00:06:10,413 --> 00:06:13,024
I suggest you drink a little less.

116
00:06:13,068 --> 00:06:17,028
But as a single bitch living in this dead-ass town,

117
00:06:17,072 --> 00:06:19,944
I suggest you invite me out next time.

118
00:06:19,988 --> 00:06:21,511
Wow.

119
00:06:21,555 --> 00:06:22,730
All right.

120
00:06:22,773 --> 00:06:25,254
- Yeah, there's more of that. - Okay.

121
00:06:29,824 --> 00:06:32,653
What do you mean you got a phone number from an alien?

122
00:06:32,696 --> 00:06:34,785
Why didn't you tell me sooner? What did they say?

123
00:06:34,829 --> 00:06:38,223
Well, I did not call. It might be a trap.

124
00:06:38,267 --> 00:06:40,008
It's not a trap.

125
00:06:40,051 --> 00:06:41,749
If you worried more about traps,

126
00:06:41,792 --> 00:06:43,925
then you would still be in the ocean

127
00:06:43,968 --> 00:06:47,668
instead of in a box of water in the mountains.

128
00:06:47,711 --> 00:06:49,974
Does this thing have to keep popping into my head?

129
00:06:50,018 --> 00:06:51,454
You think I like it in there?

130
00:06:51,498 --> 00:06:53,151
It's darker than the woods in a Tim Burton movie.

131
00:06:53,195 --> 00:06:55,066
You shut the hell up about what's in my head

132
00:06:55,110 --> 00:06:57,199
and stop putting the TV on in front of this thing.

133
00:06:57,242 --> 00:06:58,940
He's not calling

134
00:06:58,983 --> 00:07:01,595
because he's afraid his people will reject him.

135
00:07:01,638 --> 00:07:03,248
He's worried he's too human.

136
00:07:03,292 --> 00:07:04,772
That is a lie!

137
00:07:04,815 --> 00:07:07,905
Liars do not get food. - I'm kidding.

138
00:07:07,949 --> 00:07:09,646
Can't you take a joke? It's obviously a trap.

139
00:07:09,690 --> 00:07:11,561
Good octopus.

140
00:07:11,605 --> 00:07:13,650
Okay. We don't have any other leads.

141
00:07:13,694 --> 00:07:16,348
And if we don't do anything, everyone is going to die.

142
00:07:16,392 --> 00:07:19,090
So, if you don't call that phone number, I will.

143
00:07:19,134 --> 00:07:20,570
Fine.

144
00:07:21,571 --> 00:07:23,747
Okay.

145
00:07:23,791 --> 00:07:25,227
Mm.

146
00:07:27,142 --> 00:07:29,579
Hello. Can I talk to the alien, please?

147
00:07:29,623 --> 00:07:32,495
Mm.

148
00:07:32,539 --> 00:07:34,715
He hung up.

149
00:07:34,758 --> 00:07:37,195
He knows my mother.

150
00:07:37,239 --> 00:07:38,980
And they had intercourse.

151
00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:43,071
Demelio's Pizzeria, East Third Street.

152
00:07:43,114 --> 00:07:45,508
Pack your bags. We're going to New York.

153
00:07:45,552 --> 00:07:48,598
I cannot go to New York. The octopus is right.

154
00:07:48,642 --> 00:07:50,818
I have changed. I am too human.

155
00:07:50,861 --> 00:07:52,776
What if the alien will not help me?

156
00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:54,735
I heard that. He just admitted it.

157
00:07:54,778 --> 00:07:56,780
Get out of my head.

158
00:08:02,090 --> 00:08:04,309
Well, answer it. It might be them.

159
00:08:07,182 --> 00:08:08,183
Hello?

160
00:08:08,226 --> 00:08:10,446
Morning, Doc. It's the Sheriff.

161
00:08:16,104 --> 00:08:17,322
Hi, Dad.

162
00:08:26,244 --> 00:08:28,682
This is weird... she looks like me,

163
00:08:28,725 --> 00:08:30,684
if I fell face-first into a pile of metal.

164
00:08:30,727 --> 00:08:31,902
At first, I thought she was just

165
00:08:31,946 --> 00:08:33,600
some hippie drifter from Boulder,

166
00:08:33,643 --> 00:08:36,777
but, uh, then she showed me this right here.

167
00:08:42,217 --> 00:08:44,436
I remember this.

168
00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:46,830
This was the day she sat on my knee,

169
00:08:46,874 --> 00:08:48,440
and we looked at the camera,

170
00:08:48,484 --> 00:08:50,007
and that person took our photograph.

171
00:08:50,051 --> 00:08:53,358
Yes, the daughter you've been telling me so much about,

172
00:08:53,402 --> 00:08:55,012
from your first wife before Isabelle,

173
00:08:55,056 --> 00:08:57,188
and her name is...

174
00:08:57,232 --> 00:08:59,495
right on the tip of my tongue.

175
00:09:02,629 --> 00:09:04,718
Um, I think she said Liza.

176
00:09:04,761 --> 00:09:07,242
Liza is her name.

177
00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:09,244
- Liza is her name. - Mm-hmm.

178
00:09:09,287 --> 00:09:11,507
I'm very fertile.

179
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:14,902
This is my sweet little girl.

180
00:09:14,945 --> 00:09:17,078
Well, we caught your sweet little girl

181
00:09:17,121 --> 00:09:18,296
trying to steal a bike.

182
00:09:18,340 --> 00:09:19,733
It turns out she's got a record

183
00:09:19,776 --> 00:09:21,648
for shoplifting in, uh, New Mexico.

184
00:09:21,691 --> 00:09:24,433
Her mama sent her to a camp for troubled teens,

185
00:09:24,476 --> 00:09:26,653
but she ran away 'cause she's troubled.

186
00:09:26,696 --> 00:09:29,307
She also pulled my hair.

187
00:09:29,351 --> 00:09:31,788
It didn't hurt, though. I have strong roots.

188
00:09:31,832 --> 00:09:33,747
Are you even aware of what's going on

189
00:09:33,790 --> 00:09:35,226
with your daughter, Doc? - Yes.

190
00:09:35,270 --> 00:09:39,361
Thank you for arresting her and throwing her in jail.

191
00:09:39,404 --> 00:09:41,537
Well, hold on... I don't think there's any need for that,

192
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:42,973
at least not yet.

193
00:09:43,017 --> 00:09:44,801
I'm all right with releasing her into your custody.

194
00:09:44,845 --> 00:09:48,588
No, you throw her in jail.

195
00:09:48,631 --> 00:09:51,373
He's joking.

196
00:09:51,416 --> 00:09:54,158
He'll take her home.

197
00:09:54,202 --> 00:09:57,292
Is this how humans feel when they have a child...

198
00:09:57,335 --> 00:10:01,470
Angry and resentful for having to care for a tiny thing?

199
00:10:01,513 --> 00:10:03,167
If she were a pet bird,

200
00:10:03,211 --> 00:10:05,648
I would leave the cage door open

201
00:10:05,692 --> 00:10:07,955
and the ceiling fan on.

202
00:10:07,998 --> 00:10:12,089
So, Liza, boot camp, huh? Why were you sent there?

203
00:10:12,133 --> 00:10:14,309
- Murder. - Cool.

204
00:10:14,352 --> 00:10:16,659
Maybe we should call your mom, have her come pick you up.

205
00:10:16,703 --> 00:10:18,530
Good luck... my mom is in Italy right now,

206
00:10:18,574 --> 00:10:20,924
getting fingered on a Vespa.

207
00:10:20,968 --> 00:10:22,230
Good talk.

208
00:10:22,273 --> 00:10:26,974
It's a bad... it's a bad talk. That was bad.

209
00:10:27,017 --> 00:10:29,541
Why are you acting so weird?

210
00:10:29,585 --> 00:10:32,544
Wait, are you high?

211
00:10:32,588 --> 00:10:34,503
Yes.

212
00:10:34,546 --> 00:10:37,245
Yes, he is. Ugh.

213
00:10:37,288 --> 00:10:39,682
It's legal in Colorado.

214
00:10:39,726 --> 00:10:42,642
Do not bum my stone, man.

215
00:10:42,685 --> 00:10:44,600
Go home to your mother.

216
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:47,211
Asta will take you to the airport.

217
00:10:47,255 --> 00:10:48,691
That was quick.

218
00:10:48,735 --> 00:10:50,040
You usually at least pretend

219
00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:52,695
for a few days before you tell me to leave.

220
00:10:52,739 --> 00:10:55,089
I'll make it real easy for you. Have a nice life.

221
00:10:55,132 --> 00:10:58,135
Okay, I will.

222
00:10:58,179 --> 00:11:00,660
Where is the bacon lady?

223
00:11:00,703 --> 00:11:03,184
- You can't just let her leave. - Mm?

224
00:11:03,227 --> 00:11:04,489
She wants to go.

225
00:11:04,533 --> 00:11:07,841
She wants her father. We have to help her.

226
00:11:07,884 --> 00:11:10,017
An hour ago, you wanted to go to New York

227
00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:12,236
to save the rest of the humans.

228
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:13,760
You are flip-floppy.

229
00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:15,849
She happens to be one of those humans.

230
00:11:15,892 --> 00:11:18,286
You killed her father,

231
00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:21,245
so we are staying here until we get her safely home.

232
00:11:24,901 --> 00:11:26,816
She does not need our help.

233
00:11:26,860 --> 00:11:29,384
She's already making friends.

234
00:11:29,427 --> 00:11:30,907
Shit.

235
00:11:32,648 --> 00:11:34,302
I think we can make that happen, yeah.

236
00:11:34,345 --> 00:11:35,782
You ever been on one before? - Oh, yes.

237
00:11:35,825 --> 00:11:37,479
Let's do this thing.

238
00:11:37,522 --> 00:11:39,655
- Hey, nice bike. - Thanks.

239
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,135
I had the same one in high school.

240
00:11:41,178 --> 00:11:43,964
She's 16, so get the hell out of here.

241
00:11:45,661 --> 00:11:47,228
Faster.

242
00:11:50,274 --> 00:11:51,580
You're not my mother.

243
00:11:51,623 --> 00:11:52,886
I know. She's doing the Vespa thing.

244
00:11:52,929 --> 00:11:55,062
Look, I want to help you.

245
00:11:55,105 --> 00:11:56,977
Because you're my dad's newest sex toy?

246
00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:59,719
Oh, my God, knock it off. We just work together.

247
00:11:59,762 --> 00:12:02,243
Yeah, you're a little too old for him.

248
00:12:02,286 --> 00:12:05,246
Look, my mom left me when I was a baby,

249
00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:08,423
so I know a few things about being abandoned.

250
00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:10,033
So now I'm your therapist?

251
00:12:10,077 --> 00:12:12,296
You know what? Eat shit. -

252
00:12:12,340 --> 00:12:13,689
Yeah. Laugh it off.

253
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,909
And have a little pity party while you're at it.

254
00:12:15,952 --> 00:12:17,780
I'm not going to let you get on a motorcycle

255
00:12:17,824 --> 00:12:21,001
and get beat up by some asshole biker, okay?

256
00:12:33,317 --> 00:12:35,842
Did you really used to have that motorcycle?

257
00:12:35,885 --> 00:12:38,845
No, my asshole biker boyfriend did.

258
00:12:43,632 --> 00:12:47,157
I don't think my mom even wanted to go to Italy.

259
00:12:47,201 --> 00:12:50,378
I think she just needed an excuse to ship me off.

260
00:12:53,468 --> 00:12:55,818
I figured...

261
00:12:55,862 --> 00:12:58,038
I hadn't seen my dad in a while.

262
00:12:59,953 --> 00:13:02,433
I was just borrowing that bike to get to the cabin.

263
00:13:02,477 --> 00:13:04,740
I'm not a thief.

264
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:07,090
Not really.

265
00:13:07,134 --> 00:13:09,701
I mean, I do steal a lot of shit.

266
00:13:15,011 --> 00:13:17,231
Something's different.

267
00:13:18,841 --> 00:13:21,888
At least he used to go through the motions of being a father.

268
00:13:21,931 --> 00:13:25,239
Yeah, well...

269
00:13:25,282 --> 00:13:28,633
he's not the same man you used to know.

270
00:13:28,677 --> 00:13:30,897
Maybe just give him a chance.

271
00:13:34,770 --> 00:13:38,730
I really miss you, Aunt Cathy.

272
00:13:38,774 --> 00:13:40,776
You were the only one I ever told

273
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,344
about the UFO I saw when I was a kid...

274
00:13:43,387 --> 00:13:44,562
except John.

275
00:13:44,606 --> 00:13:48,436
He thinks I'm crazy but loves me anyway.

276
00:13:50,612 --> 00:13:52,832
God, I really hope you can hear me.

277
00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:55,443
Aunt Cathy, if you're listening,

278
00:13:55,486 --> 00:13:57,401
please give me a sign.

279
00:13:57,445 --> 00:13:58,968
- Liv! - Oh!

280
00:13:59,012 --> 00:14:01,014
- Hey, Liv. - Hey.

281
00:14:01,057 --> 00:14:02,363
Just bringing Max by.

282
00:14:02,406 --> 00:14:04,713
His first father-son trip to the cemetery.

283
00:14:04,756 --> 00:14:06,889
- What is that tall thing? - Ah.

284
00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:09,849
That is a monument honoring the 59.

285
00:14:09,892 --> 00:14:11,372
The star on top represents

286
00:14:11,415 --> 00:14:13,765
the man that they went back to save.

287
00:14:13,809 --> 00:14:15,419
It's more than a monument.

288
00:14:15,463 --> 00:14:18,031
They're all actually buried under there.

289
00:14:18,074 --> 00:14:20,250
It's a mass grave kind of thing.

290
00:14:20,294 --> 00:14:22,339
Awesome.

291
00:14:22,383 --> 00:14:25,081
Really? Huh.

292
00:14:25,125 --> 00:14:27,388
Well, uh, you'll be happy to hear this year

293
00:14:27,431 --> 00:14:30,173
at Patience Family Day the theme is "Remember When."

294
00:14:30,217 --> 00:14:33,916
So we'll be honoring the 59... Max stop digging.

295
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,918
I'm trying to rebrand the whole narrative,

296
00:14:35,962 --> 00:14:37,746
you know, just remind people that

297
00:14:37,789 --> 00:14:39,922
these aren't just 59 dead men.

298
00:14:39,966 --> 00:14:41,706
You know, these are... these are heroes.

299
00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:43,099
Mm, that sounds great.

300
00:14:43,143 --> 00:14:44,753
Yeah. We're going to have mining-themed games.

301
00:14:44,796 --> 00:14:46,233
Kids are putting on a play

302
00:14:46,276 --> 00:14:47,974
written by yours truly. - Ah.

303
00:14:48,017 --> 00:14:49,932
Hey, maybe even get real authentic...

304
00:14:49,976 --> 00:14:51,586
Swap out the toilet paper in the porta-potties

305
00:14:51,629 --> 00:14:54,197
for corn husks. - Yeah, maybe not that one.

306
00:14:54,241 --> 00:14:55,416
Ah, I already started shucking.

307
00:14:55,459 --> 00:14:57,418
Well, uh, good to see you. - Yeah.

308
00:14:57,461 --> 00:14:58,898
Okay. Come on, Max.

309
00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:01,857
Hey, Max, I've been meaning to ask you something.

310
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,598
You know that sketch you had me do...

311
00:15:03,641 --> 00:15:05,034
The... the one of the alien?

312
00:15:05,078 --> 00:15:09,343
Oh, um... yeah, I made all that stuff up.

313
00:15:09,386 --> 00:15:10,648
Aliens aren't real.

314
00:15:22,182 --> 00:15:24,619
Well, it looks like she's been here before.

315
00:15:24,662 --> 00:15:26,099
Nice talking with you.

316
00:15:26,142 --> 00:15:28,797
This is a bad idea. I do not like children.

317
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:30,190
Yes, you do.

318
00:15:30,233 --> 00:15:31,887
I saw the way you looked at Sunny's baby.

319
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:34,890
That is different. A baby is tiny.

320
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,283
And it doesn't speak.

321
00:15:36,326 --> 00:15:38,633
Well, every baby grows into a Liza.

322
00:15:38,676 --> 00:15:40,548
Then why do you feed them?

323
00:15:40,591 --> 00:15:43,986
'Cause if you don't, they will die.

324
00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:46,554
No, mm-mm. Don't even think about it.

325
00:15:46,597 --> 00:15:48,164
Anything happens to her or if she leaves,

326
00:15:48,208 --> 00:15:49,818
we will have much bigger problems.

327
00:15:49,861 --> 00:15:52,299
Okay, keep her alive and happy

328
00:15:52,342 --> 00:15:54,170
until her mom comes home in a few days

329
00:15:54,214 --> 00:15:57,217
and we go to New York and save humanity.

330
00:15:59,001 --> 00:16:02,396
Also, try to act as normal as possible

331
00:16:02,439 --> 00:16:04,920
and keep the door to your alien bunker locked

332
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:07,401
and the talking octopus in your room.

333
00:16:09,055 --> 00:16:10,230
I have got this.

334
00:16:10,273 --> 00:16:12,275
I can be a good father.

335
00:16:12,319 --> 00:16:14,147
I've seen a lot of television.

336
00:16:14,190 --> 00:16:16,410
Ugh, what happened to the Wi-Fi?

337
00:16:16,453 --> 00:16:18,194
And it smells like dead people up here.

338
00:16:18,238 --> 00:16:21,981
Then you should take a shower...

339
00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:23,634
my darling daughter.

340
00:16:31,077 --> 00:16:34,297
Adis, mi amigo, adis

341
00:16:34,341 --> 00:16:36,299
Hey, hey, hey!

342
00:16:44,742 --> 00:16:46,962
Buddy, you took my spot.

343
00:16:48,137 --> 00:16:49,660
Glad to see you got a new truck.

344
00:16:49,704 --> 00:16:52,141
It was the, uh, problem with the emergency brake

345
00:16:52,185 --> 00:16:53,969
on the last one, right? - Oh, you're real funny.

346
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:55,449
You could have killed someone.

347
00:16:55,492 --> 00:16:57,059
Now you're pretending to care about other people.

348
00:16:57,103 --> 00:17:00,280
Hey, maybe show me how much you care with your fist.

349
00:17:00,323 --> 00:17:01,977
That's you do things, right?

350
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,413
Looks like you already lost one fight today.

351
00:17:03,457 --> 00:17:05,285
But keep playing with me, and we'll make it two.

352
00:17:05,328 --> 00:17:07,026
It would be the honor of my life

353
00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:08,636
to lay your ass out.

354
00:17:08,679 --> 00:17:10,594
In fact, I'll do it twice... once for me, once for Asta.

355
00:17:10,638 --> 00:17:11,769
Well, if she's so upset,

356
00:17:11,813 --> 00:17:14,033
why did she stay at my house last night?

357
00:17:15,338 --> 00:17:16,557
Mm.

358
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:18,211
Bullshit.

359
00:17:27,742 --> 00:17:30,049
Yeah, good to see you.

360
00:17:31,572 --> 00:17:33,052
Hey, hey.

361
00:17:34,705 --> 00:17:36,011
Got some good news.

362
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:38,013
Oh, yeah, the Nats won four in a row.

363
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,667
I'm not talking about the Nationals.

364
00:17:39,710 --> 00:17:42,104
My biopsy came back negative.

365
00:17:42,148 --> 00:17:43,845
Biopsy? What biopsy?

366
00:17:43,888 --> 00:17:45,238
You're the one who kept nagging me

367
00:17:45,281 --> 00:17:46,630
to get my mole checked.

368
00:17:46,674 --> 00:17:48,197
You drove me to the clinic.

369
00:17:48,241 --> 00:17:50,460
What? When?

370
00:17:50,504 --> 00:17:52,201
Two weeks ago.

371
00:17:52,245 --> 00:17:54,290
Well, obviously you didn't tell me it was for a biopsy,

372
00:17:54,334 --> 00:17:55,639
or I would have remembered.

373
00:17:55,683 --> 00:17:58,294
Of course I told you.

374
00:17:58,338 --> 00:18:01,689
You ain't been the same since D.C.

375
00:18:01,732 --> 00:18:03,038
You got to deal with that.

376
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,040
See a doctor, psychiatrist,

377
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,650
hell, anybody. - Mm-hmm.

378
00:18:06,694 --> 00:18:09,175
Tell me, why exactly should I take mental-health advice

379
00:18:09,218 --> 00:18:11,220
from somebody who stayed holed up in the house,

380
00:18:11,264 --> 00:18:13,048
refusing to speak to anybody for six months

381
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,615
when Mama died, huh? -

382
00:18:14,658 --> 00:18:16,834
Yeah, well, I'm not the one carrying a deadly weapon.

383
00:18:16,878 --> 00:18:18,140
Okay, all right, you know what?

384
00:18:18,184 --> 00:18:19,968
Is this... is this what we have now? Is this us?

385
00:18:20,011 --> 00:18:21,796
We just gonna fight all the time?

386
00:18:21,839 --> 00:18:23,145
I got friends. They got dads.

387
00:18:23,189 --> 00:18:24,538
They go to games. They go fishing and shit.

388
00:18:24,581 --> 00:18:26,235
We ain't done nothing like that since I was a kid.

389
00:18:26,279 --> 00:18:28,237
Instead, all I got is you sitting across from me

390
00:18:28,281 --> 00:18:30,239
telling me all the things you think are wrong with me.

391
00:18:30,283 --> 00:18:32,241
You're a young man.

392
00:18:32,285 --> 00:18:34,548
It's not normal to forget stuff like that.

393
00:18:44,079 --> 00:18:47,648
What are we eating? -

394
00:18:47,691 --> 00:18:50,651
This is missing something. What is it?

395
00:18:50,694 --> 00:18:53,219
Oh, right, flavor.

396
00:18:53,262 --> 00:18:57,353
Have you ever heard of salt or a-a vegetable maybe?

397
00:18:57,397 --> 00:19:00,008
I did have some vegetables,

398
00:19:00,051 --> 00:19:01,836
but they grew organisms on them.

399
00:19:01,879 --> 00:19:03,490
You know I can't eat gluten.

400
00:19:03,533 --> 00:19:05,709
Did you forget that, or are you purposely trying to kill me?

401
00:19:05,753 --> 00:19:07,798
Would gluten kill you?

402
00:19:07,842 --> 00:19:09,931
- I'll just starve. - Mm.

403
00:19:09,974 --> 00:19:12,325
You need to call my boot camp and tell them that I'm with you

404
00:19:12,368 --> 00:19:13,935
and I'm too sick to go back.

405
00:19:13,978 --> 00:19:15,893
That would be lying.

406
00:19:15,937 --> 00:19:19,549
Lying is bad, young lady.

407
00:19:19,593 --> 00:19:21,986
I will now discipline you

408
00:19:22,030 --> 00:19:25,555
by sending you to bed without supper.

409
00:19:28,123 --> 00:19:29,429
I already told you...

410
00:19:29,472 --> 00:19:31,126
I'm not going to eat your shitty gut-bomb pasta.

411
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:34,651
Fine. Fine. Fine.

412
00:19:34,695 --> 00:19:37,437
More... more gluten for me.

413
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:38,786
Enjoy.

414
00:19:38,829 --> 00:19:40,353
I am.

415
00:19:41,963 --> 00:19:45,053
I know you feel like you're different.

416
00:19:45,096 --> 00:19:47,229
You are different.

417
00:19:47,273 --> 00:19:50,580
You can see what's going on.

418
00:19:50,624 --> 00:19:52,147
Aliens are real.

419
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:53,714
Hey, uh, Deputy, where are you?

420
00:19:53,757 --> 00:19:57,413
That car was supposed to be back an hour ago.

421
00:19:57,457 --> 00:20:00,721
Uh, just at the market picking up supplies

422
00:20:00,764 --> 00:20:02,418
for the break room. - Hey, uh, Dep.

423
00:20:02,462 --> 00:20:04,028
You know what? While you're there,

424
00:20:04,072 --> 00:20:05,204
go ahead and pick me up a lotto ticket.

425
00:20:05,247 --> 00:20:07,118
Go ahead pick up one for Cletus, too.

426
00:20:07,162 --> 00:20:08,555
Sure thing, Sheriff.

427
00:20:08,598 --> 00:20:11,035
You want a lotto ticket? -

428
00:20:13,516 --> 00:20:15,344
You spent the night at Jimmy's?

429
00:20:16,737 --> 00:20:18,782
- It's not what you think. - What is wrong with you?

430
00:20:18,826 --> 00:20:20,567
How do you even get within ten feet of that creep

431
00:20:20,610 --> 00:20:22,743
without ripping his face off? - Shh.

432
00:20:24,701 --> 00:20:27,269
We had to deliver my cousin Sunny's baby, okay?

433
00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:29,271
It messed with my head.

434
00:20:29,315 --> 00:20:32,231
Okay, great. So call your friends.

435
00:20:32,274 --> 00:20:35,321
- You don't understand. - No, I really don't.

436
00:20:35,364 --> 00:20:37,540
Well, Jimmy does, so it's not a terrible surprise

437
00:20:37,584 --> 00:20:40,500
that I want to talk to him about it and not you.

438
00:20:40,543 --> 00:20:42,371
I guess I'm just somebody who doesn't like watching

439
00:20:42,415 --> 00:20:44,199
their best friend ruin their life.

440
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:45,766
Oh, really?

441
00:20:45,809 --> 00:20:48,334
And that's just something for me to do?

442
00:20:48,377 --> 00:20:49,813
What is that supposed to mean?

443
00:20:49,857 --> 00:20:51,641
You think I don't know that you come in here

444
00:20:51,685 --> 00:20:52,729
for hangover IVs?

445
00:20:52,773 --> 00:20:54,165
Sorry, D'arcy.

446
00:20:54,209 --> 00:20:56,298
You want to talk about watching friends ruin lives?

447
00:20:56,342 --> 00:20:58,344
Let's talk about it. - You know, it's weird.

448
00:20:58,387 --> 00:21:00,259
You didn't seem worried about this

449
00:21:00,302 --> 00:21:01,347
until I started helping Jay.

450
00:21:01,390 --> 00:21:03,000
Oh, is that what you're doing?

451
00:21:03,044 --> 00:21:05,133
You're "helping" her?

452
00:21:05,176 --> 00:21:06,526
Yes.

453
00:21:06,569 --> 00:21:08,789
She needs somebody to talk to.

454
00:21:08,832 --> 00:21:10,530
Maybe she'll listen to my dating advice.

455
00:21:10,573 --> 00:21:12,532
I'm not so sure you're the best person

456
00:21:12,575 --> 00:21:14,447
to be giving advice about men.

457
00:21:14,490 --> 00:21:15,839
Wow.

458
00:21:15,883 --> 00:21:17,406
D'arce.

459
00:21:17,450 --> 00:21:18,712
Okay.

460
00:21:34,380 --> 00:21:35,859
Where's Murphy?

461
00:21:39,689 --> 00:21:41,517
"If you ever want to see your dog again,

462
00:21:41,561 --> 00:21:43,824
return my alien ball... Alien."

463
00:21:43,867 --> 00:21:45,782
It's not even your dog.

464
00:21:45,826 --> 00:21:48,785
We win again. - No, we don't.

465
00:21:48,829 --> 00:21:50,613
Murphy's my responsibility.

466
00:21:50,657 --> 00:21:52,615
Her owners pay me to walk her.

467
00:21:52,659 --> 00:21:55,139
We have to get her back.

468
00:21:55,183 --> 00:21:57,359
Humans are obsessed with pets.

469
00:21:57,403 --> 00:22:00,057
If I give Liza this slobbering lump of fur,

470
00:22:00,101 --> 00:22:03,147
she will become so distracted taking care of the dog,

471
00:22:03,191 --> 00:22:05,280
I won't have to take care of her.

472
00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:09,589
Liza, dear child, I have a gift for you.

473
00:22:12,766 --> 00:22:14,245
Mm-hmm.

474
00:22:14,289 --> 00:22:15,464
A dog?

475
00:22:15,508 --> 00:22:17,466
What am I supposed to do with that thing?

476
00:22:17,510 --> 00:22:19,338
You know mom's allergic.

477
00:22:23,603 --> 00:22:26,475
This will be more difficult than I first thought.

478
00:22:32,089 --> 00:22:36,050
Can't you see me smiling, baby?

479
00:22:36,093 --> 00:22:40,228
Can't you see this face of mine?

480
00:22:40,271 --> 00:22:43,492
Can't you see I'm getting tired?

481
00:22:43,536 --> 00:22:46,669
Even though I seem all right

482
00:22:49,106 --> 00:22:52,240
It's not my life I'm worried about

483
00:22:52,283 --> 00:22:56,592
Or my health, if it's weak or strong

484
00:22:56,636 --> 00:23:00,509
Ooh, it's just who I need, girl

485
00:23:00,553 --> 00:23:02,032
Ew.

486
00:23:02,076 --> 00:23:05,035
And who I hurt

487
00:23:05,079 --> 00:23:07,647
Go on by

488
00:23:07,690 --> 00:23:10,214
No, there's a...

489
00:23:10,258 --> 00:23:11,520
You...

490
00:23:11,564 --> 00:23:13,957
Got the balloon arch going.

491
00:23:14,001 --> 00:23:17,178
This guy, old prospector... looking great, everyone.

492
00:23:17,221 --> 00:23:19,049
- Hi, Kayla. - Hey, Kate.

493
00:23:19,093 --> 00:23:21,312
Uh, isn't the booth supposed to be

494
00:23:21,356 --> 00:23:23,706
just back a couple feet? - Yeah, there was a rock there.

495
00:23:23,750 --> 00:23:27,362
See, all the booths are supposed to be 30 feet apart.

496
00:23:27,406 --> 00:23:29,146
Did you know that the human brain

497
00:23:29,190 --> 00:23:31,235
gets pleasure from symmetry?

498
00:23:31,279 --> 00:23:33,237
Did you know that the human ankle gets pain

499
00:23:33,281 --> 00:23:35,805
from breaking itself on a rock?

500
00:23:35,849 --> 00:23:37,677
Oh, no.

501
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:39,592
Why is there a murderer here?

502
00:23:39,635 --> 00:23:42,072
- Innocent until proven guilty. - Innocent?

503
00:23:42,116 --> 00:23:43,465
She's holding a weapon.

504
00:23:43,509 --> 00:23:46,555
- Honey, it's a paintbrush. - That's a weapon.

505
00:23:46,599 --> 00:23:48,905
"Hi. What would you like me to paint on your face...

506
00:23:48,949 --> 00:23:50,429
A nice little birdie?"

507
00:23:50,472 --> 00:23:52,213
"Take that kid."

508
00:23:54,911 --> 00:23:57,000
Keep an eye on her.

509
00:23:59,263 --> 00:24:00,830
It's good to see you.

510
00:24:02,528 --> 00:24:04,791
- This is stupid. - It is not stupid.

511
00:24:04,834 --> 00:24:06,749
This is Patience Family Day.

512
00:24:06,793 --> 00:24:08,316
We are a family in Patience,

513
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:11,624
and this is what families in Patience do on this day.

514
00:24:11,667 --> 00:24:13,669
If she were home with me for one more second,

515
00:24:13,713 --> 00:24:16,759
I would kill her and feed her to my hungry octopus.

516
00:24:16,803 --> 00:24:18,021
Can I at least drive?

517
00:24:18,065 --> 00:24:21,721
- Will you stop complaining? - Yes.

518
00:24:21,764 --> 00:24:23,940
- Okay. - Yes!

519
00:24:32,732 --> 00:24:34,603
Hurry.

520
00:24:34,647 --> 00:24:36,039
Okay.

521
00:24:41,001 --> 00:24:43,960
Okay. Try not to kill us.

522
00:24:44,004 --> 00:24:45,658
Calm down. It's fine.

523
00:24:45,701 --> 00:24:47,268
This is a nightmare.

524
00:24:47,311 --> 00:24:49,792
How do human parents teach driving to their children

525
00:24:49,836 --> 00:24:51,315
without being terrified?

526
00:24:51,359 --> 00:24:54,188
The truck sounds like it wants you to shift now.

527
00:24:56,146 --> 00:24:58,845
Oh, let's put on some tunes.

528
00:24:58,888 --> 00:25:01,804
Wait, watch out!

529
00:25:01,848 --> 00:25:05,634
- Stop being a backseat driver. - There is no back seat.

530
00:25:05,678 --> 00:25:07,810
It is a truck.

531
00:25:07,854 --> 00:25:11,074
It is a nice day, and...

532
00:25:11,118 --> 00:25:12,859
that is a beautiful stop sign approaching.

533
00:25:12,902 --> 00:25:14,513
You see it? - Where?

534
00:25:14,556 --> 00:25:15,775
There.

535
00:25:17,037 --> 00:25:18,212
Watch it, asshole!

536
00:25:18,255 --> 00:25:20,519
Stop! That's it! Get out of that truck!

537
00:25:20,562 --> 00:25:22,608
You are the worst driver I've ever seen!

538
00:25:22,651 --> 00:25:26,133
You're a jerk. I was finally having some fun.

539
00:25:30,616 --> 00:25:32,574
Damn it.

540
00:25:34,315 --> 00:25:36,491
Come on, we got to hurry. We'll be late for the play.

541
00:25:36,535 --> 00:25:38,145
I don't want to give the ball back.

542
00:25:38,188 --> 00:25:39,973
We have no choice.

543
00:25:40,016 --> 00:25:41,365
Do you know what a kidnapping review

544
00:25:41,409 --> 00:25:43,585
will do to my whole dog-walking business?

545
00:25:45,587 --> 00:25:46,936
Wait.

546
00:25:46,980 --> 00:25:49,591
Someone's been here. The satellite dish is gone.

547
00:25:51,724 --> 00:25:53,726
Oh, no.

548
00:26:02,735 --> 00:26:04,301
The ball.

549
00:26:06,608 --> 00:26:08,741
Who took it?

550
00:26:08,784 --> 00:26:10,960
There's only one possibility.

551
00:26:42,862 --> 00:26:44,341
Asta.

552
00:26:44,385 --> 00:26:45,865
Hey, Harry.

553
00:26:45,908 --> 00:26:48,215
Thank you so much again for helping Sunny with her baby.

554
00:26:48,258 --> 00:26:49,477
You were amazing.

555
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:51,348
They are easy when they are babies.

556
00:26:51,392 --> 00:26:52,698
They cannot run away yet

557
00:26:52,741 --> 00:26:55,570
or almost kill you in a car accident.

558
00:26:55,614 --> 00:26:57,050
Run away? Did Liza leave?

559
00:26:57,093 --> 00:26:58,573
Oh! - Oh!

560
00:26:58,617 --> 00:27:01,620
- Uh, found her. - Oh, yep, teenage daughter.

561
00:27:02,708 --> 00:27:04,405
Oh, Harry, maybe you should...

562
00:27:04,448 --> 00:27:06,712
No. That's it.

563
00:27:06,755 --> 00:27:09,236
You are as bad at throwing

564
00:27:09,279 --> 00:27:12,065
as you are at driving!

565
00:27:12,108 --> 00:27:14,415
Well, I must be a pretty good driver, then,

566
00:27:14,458 --> 00:27:16,678
because you're soaking wet.

567
00:27:18,114 --> 00:27:21,422
You are the worst daughter that I have.

568
00:27:21,465 --> 00:27:23,903
I am your only daughter, you idiot!

569
00:27:23,946 --> 00:27:28,255
If I had another daughter and she was bad,

570
00:27:28,298 --> 00:27:30,605
you would be worse!

571
00:27:30,649 --> 00:27:32,955
Please stop, you guys.

572
00:27:32,999 --> 00:27:35,784
Uh, we only have a limited number of balloons.

573
00:27:35,828 --> 00:27:38,700
And, Judy, uh, I-I appreciate you dressing on theme,

574
00:27:38,744 --> 00:27:40,267
but could you cover up the cleavage?

575
00:27:40,310 --> 00:27:41,529
There are children here.

576
00:27:41,572 --> 00:27:43,400
There's a theme?

577
00:27:43,444 --> 00:27:45,751
Not okay!

578
00:27:45,794 --> 00:27:47,056
No! Hey!

579
00:27:47,100 --> 00:27:49,102
Not... not okay. Hey! - Get him.

580
00:27:49,145 --> 00:27:50,930
Summer fun, summer high jinks.

581
00:27:50,973 --> 00:27:53,584
Listen, you got to take it down here.

582
00:27:53,628 --> 00:27:54,629
Hey! - Ha ha ha!

583
00:27:54,673 --> 00:27:56,283
Okay, all right.

584
00:27:56,326 --> 00:27:57,719
Not okay! Oh!

585
00:28:04,683 --> 00:28:06,902
I know you didn't kill Sam.

586
00:28:06,946 --> 00:28:08,948
Oh...

587
00:28:08,991 --> 00:28:11,515
you have no idea how much that means to me.

588
00:28:14,475 --> 00:28:17,826
Okay. Bird or butterfly?

589
00:28:17,870 --> 00:28:22,744
Uh, I was thinking more of a Ziggy Stardust-type thing.

590
00:28:22,788 --> 00:28:26,313
Oh, okay, I like it. Let's see now.

591
00:28:41,023 --> 00:28:44,287
Does the food you eat ever get caught in your lip metal?

592
00:28:47,029 --> 00:28:49,858
You're different than before,

593
00:28:49,902 --> 00:28:52,687
like, head-injury different.

594
00:28:52,731 --> 00:28:55,255
You've changed. - Yes, I know.

595
00:28:55,298 --> 00:28:58,998
You ghosted me for, like, three years.

596
00:28:59,041 --> 00:29:00,695
I thought you hated me,

597
00:29:00,739 --> 00:29:03,045
Then why did you come here?

598
00:29:03,089 --> 00:29:05,308
To be honest, I was afraid to.

599
00:29:05,352 --> 00:29:07,354
I mean...

600
00:29:07,397 --> 00:29:09,182
I've changed, too, obviously.

601
00:29:09,225 --> 00:29:12,011
I'm not the little girl you used to take fishing.

602
00:29:13,403 --> 00:29:14,883
But you're my family.

603
00:29:14,927 --> 00:29:17,451
I was hoping that'd be enough,

604
00:29:17,494 --> 00:29:18,887
'cause if it wasn't enough,

605
00:29:18,931 --> 00:29:23,370
I would have had to go back to that hellhole camp.

606
00:29:23,413 --> 00:29:25,633
Dial their phone number.

607
00:29:32,771 --> 00:29:36,122
Hello, my name is Dr. Harry Vanderspeigle,

608
00:29:36,165 --> 00:29:39,603
and my daughter Liza isn't going to come back

609
00:29:39,647 --> 00:29:43,085
to your stupid camp.

610
00:29:43,129 --> 00:29:44,739
It is stupid.

611
00:29:44,783 --> 00:29:47,220
You are stupid.

612
00:29:47,263 --> 00:29:48,874
If you contact her again,

613
00:29:48,917 --> 00:29:50,832
I will find you and your family.

614
00:29:50,876 --> 00:29:52,747
That should cover it.

615
00:29:52,791 --> 00:29:54,967
Mm-hmm.

616
00:29:57,578 --> 00:29:59,319
Hey...

617
00:29:59,362 --> 00:30:00,842
win me a prize?

618
00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:08,850
I will win myself a prize and consider giving it to you.

619
00:30:08,894 --> 00:30:10,243
Fair enough.

620
00:30:16,423 --> 00:30:19,774
All right, time for the 52nd Annual Family Day

621
00:30:19,818 --> 00:30:21,384
Hot Chili Pepper Eating Contest.

622
00:30:21,428 --> 00:30:23,517
You should eat more.

623
00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:25,954
No. Need to line the stomach.

624
00:30:25,998 --> 00:30:29,001
Trust me, I've won this contest every year since I was 13,

625
00:30:29,044 --> 00:30:30,872
except the year that Ethiopian exchange student

626
00:30:30,916 --> 00:30:32,265
threw me for a loop.

627
00:30:32,308 --> 00:30:34,354
Biniyam! - You're so gonna win.

628
00:30:34,397 --> 00:30:36,356
Have you seen everyone else at the table?

629
00:30:36,399 --> 00:30:37,618
They're all, like, adults.

630
00:30:37,661 --> 00:30:38,924
I'm an adult.

631
00:30:38,967 --> 00:30:42,014
- Shut up. No, you're not. - Okay.

632
00:30:42,057 --> 00:30:43,189
Will all remaining entrants

633
00:30:43,232 --> 00:30:44,843
please make their way to the table?

634
00:30:44,886 --> 00:30:47,410
Let's get started. - Whoo! Let's go, D'arce!

635
00:30:47,454 --> 00:30:49,543
I've been practicing with, like, hot things...

636
00:30:49,586 --> 00:30:53,286
Like, getting, like, big, hot things in my mouth.

637
00:30:53,329 --> 00:30:55,592
I mean, this is the first time its pepper.

638
00:30:55,636 --> 00:30:57,899
Okay, we are just about to start.

639
00:30:57,943 --> 00:31:01,207
- What are you doing? - What? I love spicy food.

640
00:31:01,250 --> 00:31:02,861
This isn't spicy food.

641
00:31:02,904 --> 00:31:04,688
This is the stuff they put a tiny bit of in

642
00:31:04,732 --> 00:31:06,386
to make spicy food.

643
00:31:06,429 --> 00:31:09,302
- Afraid I'm going to beat you? - I'm afraid you're gonna die.

644
00:31:09,345 --> 00:31:11,217
You're going down this year, skank.

645
00:31:11,260 --> 00:31:13,741
- Not as often as you. - True, true.

646
00:31:13,784 --> 00:31:16,483
First up is a very mild banana pepper.

647
00:31:16,526 --> 00:31:20,400
Eat!

648
00:31:24,578 --> 00:31:27,581
I'm on fire!

649
00:31:27,624 --> 00:31:31,237
Nope, nope, nope, I'm out! I'm out!

650
00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:33,848
Ow. No, no, no.

651
00:31:35,981 --> 00:31:38,113
Oh, hey, Doc, um...

652
00:31:38,157 --> 00:31:40,942
can I talk to you in private for a minute?

653
00:31:40,986 --> 00:31:42,552
Nice alien.

654
00:31:42,596 --> 00:31:44,163
Thanks. My dad stole it for me.

655
00:31:44,206 --> 00:31:47,209
Oh, that... that's a little bit illegal.

656
00:31:47,253 --> 00:31:49,037
It's, like, super cheap, so...

657
00:31:49,081 --> 00:31:50,996
Yeah, doesn't really... it's more the principle.

658
00:31:51,039 --> 00:31:53,041
- Okay. - Here.

659
00:31:55,174 --> 00:31:57,480
Look, uh, I'll make this quick.

660
00:31:57,524 --> 00:32:01,397
All right, um, two weeks ago, I took my dad to get a biopsy,

661
00:32:01,441 --> 00:32:03,356
except I don't remember taking him.

662
00:32:03,399 --> 00:32:05,053
I don't remember anything... as a matter of fact,

663
00:32:05,097 --> 00:32:06,750
I don't remember anything about that day at all

664
00:32:06,794 --> 00:32:08,535
except talking to the FBI.

665
00:32:08,578 --> 00:32:09,971
That's not normal, right?

666
00:32:10,015 --> 00:32:12,191
He is right. It is not normal.

667
00:32:12,234 --> 00:32:14,106
And it is also very bad for me.

668
00:32:14,149 --> 00:32:16,064
All right, now get this... it gets weirder, right?

669
00:32:16,108 --> 00:32:17,370
Now, I haven't told Deputy Liv

670
00:32:17,413 --> 00:32:18,937
anything about me forgetting that day

671
00:32:18,980 --> 00:32:20,068
'cause I don't want her to freak out,

672
00:32:20,112 --> 00:32:21,722
but she's got gaps in her memory

673
00:32:21,765 --> 00:32:23,245
for that exact same day, too.

674
00:32:23,289 --> 00:32:25,944
You think if I came by office, you could check me out?

675
00:32:25,987 --> 00:32:27,206
This is bad.

676
00:32:27,249 --> 00:32:28,947
If he starts investigating this,

677
00:32:28,990 --> 00:32:30,861
he might remember that I'm a murderer

678
00:32:30,905 --> 00:32:32,515
and possibly a werewolf.

679
00:32:32,559 --> 00:32:33,995
Yes.

680
00:32:34,039 --> 00:32:36,389
I will do what I can to help with your memory.

681
00:32:36,432 --> 00:32:37,868
I appreciate it.

682
00:32:37,912 --> 00:32:40,436
You know, my dad... he tells me it's emotional, right?

683
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:42,438
That it's in my head.

684
00:32:42,482 --> 00:32:45,267
I lost a friend a few years back, and...

685
00:32:45,311 --> 00:32:48,053
truth is, I don't think I've had a good day since.

686
00:32:48,096 --> 00:32:49,750
Does that make sense?

687
00:32:49,793 --> 00:32:51,926
Yes, that makes sense.

688
00:32:51,970 --> 00:32:55,060
All I got left now is my dad, and...

689
00:32:55,103 --> 00:32:57,149
who knows for how long, right?

690
00:32:57,192 --> 00:33:00,065
If I can't remember the time I'm spending with him, then...

691
00:33:00,108 --> 00:33:02,676
- Sit down. - Right here?

692
00:33:02,719 --> 00:33:04,504
- Mm. - Okay.

693
00:33:06,810 --> 00:33:09,552
Let me lead you through a meditation

694
00:33:09,596 --> 00:33:11,815
that will help with your grief. - Okay.

695
00:33:11,859 --> 00:33:13,600
And put a memory in your head

696
00:33:13,643 --> 00:33:14,949
so you leave me alone.

697
00:33:14,993 --> 00:33:16,124
All right.

698
00:33:21,303 --> 00:33:23,305
We are getting up there now.

699
00:33:23,349 --> 00:33:28,049
Next is the Trinidad Scorpion at 1.2 million Scoville units.

700
00:33:28,093 --> 00:33:30,443
This is gonna turn out bad.

701
00:33:30,486 --> 00:33:33,011
Why are you doing this? Take your milk.

702
00:33:33,054 --> 00:33:34,273
I feel great.

703
00:33:34,316 --> 00:33:37,537
All right, D'arcy! You can do this, Asta!

704
00:33:40,279 --> 00:33:42,542
Whoo, Asta! Yes.

705
00:33:44,109 --> 00:33:45,762
Mm-mm.

706
00:33:45,806 --> 00:33:47,851
Oh, God, that's not the way you're supposed to eat that.

707
00:33:47,895 --> 00:33:49,810
- I'm fine, I'm fine. - No, you're not.

708
00:33:49,853 --> 00:33:51,681
You're not gonna be fine. - Oh, God.

709
00:33:52,856 --> 00:33:55,903
All right. -

710
00:33:55,946 --> 00:33:58,993
I'm out, I'm out, I'm out. -

711
00:33:59,037 --> 00:34:01,300
And the winner and new champion is

712
00:34:01,343 --> 00:34:02,692
Ellen Cho!

713
00:34:07,610 --> 00:34:10,526
Bow to me! Bow!

714
00:34:10,570 --> 00:34:12,572
The play's about to start. I saved you guys some seats.

715
00:34:12,615 --> 00:34:14,835
- Oh, I'm excited. - I don't do no plays.

716
00:34:14,878 --> 00:34:16,184
I don't play. I don't watch plays.

717
00:34:16,228 --> 00:34:17,838
I don't want... I ain't want to do no plays.

718
00:34:17,881 --> 00:34:19,448
Oh, come on, come on, come on.

719
00:34:19,492 --> 00:34:21,015
Come on, let's go.

720
00:34:21,059 --> 00:34:22,538
- Did you write it? - I did.

721
00:34:22,582 --> 00:34:24,888
Wow, a pickax for my tenth birthday?

722
00:34:24,932 --> 00:34:26,107
Thanks, Dad!

723
00:34:26,151 --> 00:34:28,631
All: We're all miners now.

724
00:34:28,675 --> 00:34:31,069
Mining built the town of Patience, Colorado.

725
00:34:31,112 --> 00:34:33,027
At one time, every able-bodied man

726
00:34:33,071 --> 00:34:35,682
who lived here worked the mine.

727
00:34:35,725 --> 00:34:38,946
Then one cold January day in 1884,

728
00:34:38,989 --> 00:34:40,861
heroes were born.

729
00:34:43,864 --> 00:34:46,345
Oh, no! It could be a cave-in!

730
00:34:46,388 --> 00:34:50,697
Run for your lives!

731
00:34:50,740 --> 00:34:52,394
Help! Help!

732
00:34:52,438 --> 00:34:54,048
There's one man still in the mine!

733
00:34:54,092 --> 00:34:56,355
We must go back for him!

734
00:34:56,398 --> 00:34:59,706
59 brave men refused to leave one man behind.

735
00:34:59,749 --> 00:35:01,577
They were heroes.

736
00:35:01,621 --> 00:35:04,363
How much of the town budget did you spend on this play?

737
00:35:04,406 --> 00:35:06,800
- Eight percent. - Eight perc...

738
00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:11,370
What happened in the mine after it collapsed.

739
00:35:13,154 --> 00:35:15,722
We're boulders, and we're here to kill miners.

740
00:35:15,765 --> 00:35:18,159
All must die.

741
00:35:47,188 --> 00:35:49,625
All my organs are hemorrhaging.

742
00:35:51,801 --> 00:35:54,239
My leg, my leg.

743
00:35:54,282 --> 00:35:57,590
59 men succumbed to their crush injuries that day.

744
00:35:57,633 --> 00:36:00,767
And one man, who was trapped in an air pocket,

745
00:36:00,810 --> 00:36:04,292
died of loneliness and thirst three days later.

746
00:36:04,336 --> 00:36:08,340
I'm so thirsty and so lonely.

747
00:36:10,037 --> 00:36:13,258
To the 59 and to Air Pocket Pete.

748
00:36:13,301 --> 00:36:15,564
I don't think his name was actually Pete,

749
00:36:15,608 --> 00:36:18,611
but, you know, it works, and it works well.

750
00:36:20,352 --> 00:36:24,443
Where have all the daddies gone?

751
00:36:24,486 --> 00:36:28,795
Where did they all go?

752
00:36:28,838 --> 00:36:33,278
My uncle is my daddy now

753
00:36:33,321 --> 00:36:37,847
And soon there will be snow

754
00:36:37,891 --> 00:36:42,156
Where did Mommy's happy go?

755
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:46,116
She drinks wine all day

756
00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:50,643
My uncle daddy gets real mad

757
00:36:50,686 --> 00:36:54,255
I don't think he will stay - What are you thinking?

758
00:36:54,299 --> 00:36:56,126
Terrible, man.

759
00:37:18,497 --> 00:37:20,281
Here, this'll help. -

760
00:37:20,325 --> 00:37:23,371
Thanks. I need, like, six or seven more of these.

761
00:37:24,677 --> 00:37:26,461
Sole dependency

762
00:37:29,377 --> 00:37:32,641
I shouldn't have said what I said about you and Jay.

763
00:37:32,685 --> 00:37:34,774
I didn't mean it.

764
00:37:34,817 --> 00:37:37,124
No, you meant it.

765
00:37:37,167 --> 00:37:39,648
Okay, I meant it.

766
00:37:39,692 --> 00:37:42,129
I was mad, and I was wrong. -

767
00:37:42,172 --> 00:37:44,087
No, you weren't.

768
00:37:44,131 --> 00:37:45,654
You were right.

769
00:37:45,698 --> 00:37:47,221
My parents took me out to dinner,

770
00:37:47,265 --> 00:37:49,397
and my response was to go get blackout drunk.

771
00:37:49,441 --> 00:37:52,531
Your parents are assholes.

772
00:37:52,574 --> 00:37:55,316
I mean, I love them, but come on.

773
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:57,405
I should be better at dealing with them by now.

774
00:37:57,449 --> 00:37:59,668
I'm not 15.

775
00:37:59,712 --> 00:38:01,496
I'm a mess.

776
00:38:01,540 --> 00:38:03,324
No.

777
00:38:03,368 --> 00:38:05,935
I'm a mess. Look at me.

778
00:38:05,979 --> 00:38:08,895
I don't want to be messy.

779
00:38:08,938 --> 00:38:10,766
I don't want that either.

780
00:38:10,810 --> 00:38:12,594
We can't both be messes at the same time.

781
00:38:12,638 --> 00:38:14,335
Otherwise it's chaos.

782
00:38:16,381 --> 00:38:20,341
Going to Jimmy's was so dumb.

783
00:38:20,385 --> 00:38:22,996
I just...

784
00:38:24,127 --> 00:38:26,521
He just went through it, you know?

785
00:38:26,565 --> 00:38:27,609
I mean, he was an asshole,

786
00:38:27,653 --> 00:38:29,785
but he was there when Jay was born,

787
00:38:29,829 --> 00:38:32,353
and he was there for me through all the freakouts

788
00:38:32,397 --> 00:38:34,964
after I gave her up.

789
00:38:35,008 --> 00:38:37,706
I would never take from you...

790
00:38:37,750 --> 00:38:40,753
I guess I'm so used to being sad with him,

791
00:38:40,796 --> 00:38:42,798
something about it feels normal.

792
00:38:44,409 --> 00:38:47,977
I don't think that's supposed to feel normal.

793
00:38:48,021 --> 00:38:50,632
You know, I wasn't around when all that stuff went down,

794
00:38:50,676 --> 00:38:52,721
but I'm here now.

795
00:38:52,765 --> 00:38:55,594
And I always will be.

796
00:38:55,637 --> 00:38:58,771
You know that, right?

797
00:38:58,814 --> 00:39:01,382
Right. -

798
00:39:02,818 --> 00:39:06,387
When I woke up on his couch...

799
00:39:06,431 --> 00:39:08,520
I saw that picture of us from the senior year

800
00:39:08,563 --> 00:39:12,001
where I'm wearing that stupid football sweatshirt.

801
00:39:14,090 --> 00:39:16,789
That thing is still in my trunk.

802
00:39:18,312 --> 00:39:20,358
I think you should go get that sweatshirt.

803
00:39:23,448 --> 00:39:25,711
- Yeah. Yeah. - Why?

804
00:39:25,754 --> 00:39:27,930
- Yeah. - Why?

805
00:39:29,845 --> 00:39:33,414
What are you gonna do? -

806
00:39:37,810 --> 00:39:39,681
And we

807
00:39:42,118 --> 00:39:45,861
We are the same

808
00:39:58,004 --> 00:40:00,223
We'll only be gone a couple of days.

809
00:40:00,267 --> 00:40:01,703
You're sure you're okay here alone?

810
00:40:01,747 --> 00:40:03,052
Ah, of course.

811
00:40:03,096 --> 00:40:05,620
Who cares if everyone hated the play

812
00:40:05,664 --> 00:40:07,100
and me for writing it?

813
00:40:07,143 --> 00:40:10,146
Not everyone in the audience hated it.

814
00:40:10,190 --> 00:40:11,757
And that woman who screamed at you

815
00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:13,062
is one of those complainer moms from school.

816
00:40:13,106 --> 00:40:15,674
Where have all the daddies gone?

817
00:40:15,717 --> 00:40:18,938
Where did they all go?

818
00:40:18,981 --> 00:40:20,722
You're singing the song.

819
00:40:20,766 --> 00:40:22,985
Yeah, it's the best song ever.

820
00:40:23,029 --> 00:40:26,641
And the play was awesome. The blood looked so cool.

821
00:40:26,685 --> 00:40:29,122
See you in a couple days.

822
00:40:29,165 --> 00:40:32,342
Where did Mommy's happy go?

823
00:40:32,386 --> 00:40:35,128
Wow. Did you see that? Max loved it.

824
00:40:35,171 --> 00:40:38,087
See? You got yourself all worked up over nothing.

825
00:40:38,131 --> 00:40:40,525
By next year, everyone will have forgotten all about it,

826
00:40:40,568 --> 00:40:42,004
and you can do another play.

827
00:40:42,048 --> 00:40:44,137
No way. I mean, you heard Max.

828
00:40:44,180 --> 00:40:45,443
The play worked.

829
00:40:45,486 --> 00:40:48,097
No, we'll... we'll do it even bigger next year.

830
00:40:48,141 --> 00:40:51,100
You know, bigger boulders, maybe... maybe even more blood.

831
00:40:52,624 --> 00:40:54,843
Great.

832
00:40:54,887 --> 00:40:56,758
Okay. Bye, honey. - Okay, bye.

833
00:40:56,802 --> 00:40:59,021
Bye-bye. Okay.

834
00:40:59,065 --> 00:41:02,024
Have fun at your mom's.

835
00:41:05,071 --> 00:41:07,508
- Bye, Dad! - Bye, honey!

836
00:41:23,306 --> 00:41:24,525
Thanks.

837
00:41:24,569 --> 00:41:27,049
Just take care of yourself.

838
00:41:27,093 --> 00:41:28,311
At the end of the day,

839
00:41:28,355 --> 00:41:30,966
you can't depend on anyone else but you.

840
00:41:31,010 --> 00:41:33,186
My mom would never say something like that.

841
00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:37,146
But I think you're right.

842
00:41:37,190 --> 00:41:38,887
Thanks.

843
00:41:40,715 --> 00:41:42,064
I...

844
00:41:52,771 --> 00:41:55,121
You're a better father than I remember.

845
00:41:55,164 --> 00:41:57,602
I'm glad we got to spend time together.

846
00:41:57,645 --> 00:42:00,256
I might even miss you a little.

847
00:42:00,300 --> 00:42:02,563
I am glad.

848
00:42:02,607 --> 00:42:04,696
I miss my family, too.

849
00:42:04,739 --> 00:42:06,741
All right, folks.

850
00:42:06,785 --> 00:42:08,700
I have also changed.

851
00:42:08,743 --> 00:42:10,179
Ticket, please.

852
00:42:10,223 --> 00:42:14,401
But the alien in New York is my family.

853
00:42:14,444 --> 00:42:17,491
So maybe they will help me anyway.

854
00:42:19,667 --> 00:42:21,277
I have to try.

855
00:42:21,321 --> 00:42:23,584
I am ready to go to New York now.

856
00:42:26,761 --> 00:42:29,285
I am not worried.

857
00:42:29,329 --> 00:42:32,375
I know I am much more alien than human.

858
00:42:35,727 --> 00:42:37,859
Sheriff, can I tell you something?

859
00:42:37,903 --> 00:42:39,818
All right, go ahead. Lay it on me.

860
00:42:39,861 --> 00:42:42,908
You know that day the FBI guy came,

861
00:42:42,951 --> 00:42:46,999
the day that neither of us can remember?

862
00:42:47,042 --> 00:42:49,044
I think an alien erased our memory.

863
00:42:49,088 --> 00:42:50,785
There, I said it.

864
00:42:50,829 --> 00:42:52,308
Well, I can't speak for you, Deputy,

865
00:42:52,352 --> 00:42:56,138
but, um, I remember exactly what I was doing that day.

866
00:42:56,182 --> 00:42:59,402
It was a good day. Actually, a very good day.

867
00:43:01,666 --> 00:43:03,406
Okay.

868
00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:11,632
Only an alien would have been able to put a memory

869
00:43:11,676 --> 00:43:13,416
in the sheriff's head.

870
00:43:20,728 --> 00:43:24,863
And if that memory gave him a good day...

871
00:43:24,906 --> 00:43:27,474
then that is just a coincidence.